Tax Season is Winding Down......

Have you done your taxes yet??? You better have! Don't be one of those last minute people! You stress out your poor tax preparer!!!
As April 15 is on the horizon, I feel like I can actually almost see normalcy again. Soon enough, we will return to our regularly scheduled program of work and life balance. I so look forward to it.
I took this quiet moment in my house to look at my year so far. I have done much work on my 30 year old resolutions. I did chop my hair off. I haven't been taking very good care of myself. After April 15, i'm going to really try to start cooking more at home. Get into a routine. I started a baby toy knit project for Camille. I didn't finish the baby sweater, but I got bored with it and so wanted to do something new. Actually it wasn't that I was bored, it's just that as I'm nearing completion I realized that I don't like the yarn. That's sad. So I thought I'd attempt something small but awesome. It's going to be a little elephant, using this fabulous yarn Raime got me for my birthday. I looooove it. For sign language, we mostly just do MORE and EAT, but I'm working on it. And for my debt, I'm actually sort of working on a plan. It's going well and I think I'm going to be able to really get myself on a good path.
Camilly is growing so amazingly fast. It seems so long ago that she was so tiny, holding her in my arms, crying over her little heating lamp bed in the NICU. I'm so so lucky to have her. Her laugh is the best sound in the world. I wish our family was closer and could be with her more. I've been thinking about my grandma a lot the last few days. Not sure why. Her picture is on our refridgerator and I was telling Camille who she was and pointing to her the other day. I wish she could've met Camille. It's so hard to put aside past angers and hurts sometimes. We hold these things inside us and let them take up this space in our hearts. Where "sorrys" don't really chip away at it. Where both sides feel wronged and hurt. I was too full of pride and fear to call and tell her I love her. Too scared that my past crimes and the pain they caused were too great to ever overcome. And then with the birth of my daughter, I see things in a different light. To never let your brain tell you not to call and tell someone you love them. It's an ugly regret to have. When people we love and trust hurt us, it cuts so much deeper than I think we even realize. The mental scarring is there even after forgiveness, even after we think we've healed. That feeling of uncertainty if things will ever be the same. Sometimes I feel like I'm missing moments that never happened. Mourning the loss of a future that never came to be. If I'd been a better daughter and grandchild. If I hadn't gotten into trouble. If my life had taken a different path. Would we have had more moments? More trips to Hearst Castle? More cups of red juice? All the things that could have been, we'll never know. I miss her. I wish she could've seen me now, I feel like she would be proud of who I am right now. Even though I'm frazzled, unsure and a bt crazy. I think she would see the love and be proud.
I've fallen into other issues and topics, it must be past my bedtime and I've started rambling.
In other news, Camille totall loves DINOSAURS! :-)

Busy life! Happy Easter!

Man, who knew life could get so busy? I thought I knew what busy was before but boy was I mistaken. Between  tax season at work, regular life, a crawling baby, side business and school, blogging has fallen by the wayside. I truly wanted to keep up on this blog, mostly to have things written down so I would remember them. I'll try harder! :-)
Well the last time I really checked in was for my 30th birthday. Since then tax season has gotten very busy at work. I'm working most weekends to stay caught up. It's a lot of work but I actually like it. I'm always trying to learn more and I've taken on a couple projects that I'm learning from. School has been so looooooooong. I'm taking a Quickbooks class and at this stage in the game, I'm pretty sure I'm not going to learn much from it. Some of the people in the class are so lost, I'm totally amazed, I don't know how you can be that lost in such a simple program.
Camille is 8 months old now. I'm amazed how big she's getting. She's so strong, crawling around so fast! She pulls herself up to standing all the time, she's so curious about everything. A couple weeks ago she had a bad fever. it was kind of scary, 104.5. We couldn't get it down so I took her to the ER. I spent over 5 hours there on a Saturday night. It was terrible. The next day she was okay but then it started creeping up again and we couldn't get it to stay down with tylenol so I had to take her back to the ER. Different doctors, different nurses, different answers. Monday I worked a couple hours then went home to take her to our regular doctor. After two ER visits, he realized she had an ear infection on top of a bad cold and a cold in her lungs. She just finished her antibiotics and seems to be feeling better. She hasn't slept well since then though, which has been rough for us. She wakes up every couple hours. Not really upset, more like why aren't we hanging out?? So the other night after god knows how many times of being woken up, I brought her into bed with us. And she barfed on me. Not spit up but honest to goodness vomit. Then Saturday she threw up twice more and last night she threw up again too. Besides maybe being a bit fussy she doesn't seem to be too unhappy or in pain so I'm not too worried, but I really hate vomit. Ugh. It just grosses me out to no end. Bleh even thinking about it grosses me out. Next!
Today is Easter! We went out to breakfast then took a walk to the park. We just hung out on the grass for a while. It was nice, beautiful weather. We stopped byt he pool and asked about baby swimming and they have a class in May that I think we're going to sign up for. Should be pretty neat! Maybe I'll learn to swim too haha!
Life is justr trucking along for us. We've got some things coming up, such as first Disney trip in May, houseboating in Shasta in June, Comic Con in July and Camille turning one!!! It'll be here before we know it! Must start planning!
Well everyone is up from their naps so I'll get back to my family :-) Happy Easter to all!

Quick Note

Just a quick little post to go along with all the pics I just posted.
My baby girl is 8 months old today. Time is just flying by. She crawls all over the place, pulls herself up to stand every chance she gets and babbles and it starting to wave. It's amazing and wonderful.
And I am already thinking/planning/worrying about her first birthday :-) Yep, I'm totally that person. I'm torn between a Zoo Theme or a Comic Book/Super Baby theme. Hmmmmm so many possibilites

All I've got time for is pictures!

No time to write, I promise to try to blog more after tax season. For now, I'll leave you with pictures from the last two months or so:

Resolutions for a 30 Year Old

So I kind of skipped the whole New Years Resolutions thing. I guess it just slipped my mind. Well boo hoo. I know the norm is for people to be all GUNG HO in Jan and Feb then begin the slide in March, if they last even that long. So instead I'm going to do resolutions for my 30 year old self. It's basically the same thing but centered around my birthday, as all things should be. *Ahem*
So I've already got a couple on my mind.
Numero Uno: Take better care of myself. Yes I want to lose weight but I don't want to fall into that resolution trap so I'm making it different. As we all know, I'm no longer in my 20's and will not be getting any younger. I want to take better care of ME. Of my skin, teeth, hair and body. For my skin, I'm going to attempt to take my makeup off at night for once, use a really good night cream and maybe start putting some eye cream on to ward off those wrinkles. I'm already good about sunscreen in my lotion and makeup so I'm ok there.  I finally have dental insurance so I'll be making that trip soon. I'm thinking about doing a major chop on my hair. And I've decided that once the baby starts sleeping better I will get up earlier and run in the mornings. Right now, for the last few weeks she's been waking up 2-6 times a night and honestly I just can't wake up any earlier than I already too. I'm not getting enough sleep. But I do want to start jogging agin, so once I'm sleeping more than like 4 hours, I will start the Couch Potato to 5K again.
Numero Dos: FINISH two major knitting projects. This means actually complete from start to finish two projects. And a scarf doesn't count. I started a baby sweater, hopefully I can finish that. I'm the Queen of unfinished projects so I really want to have some finished projects I can show off :-)
Numero Tres: Work on my sign language. I want to use it more with Camille and I want to just learn it better all around. SO practice more.
Numero Quatro: Chip away at debt and build my credit score.

I think if I can work on these all year, I'll be doing pretty good!

The Eve of a Big Day

Tomorrow is almost here! It's a big day for us Thielmans! I am turning THIRTY and Camille is turning 6 months!
It's pretty weird to think about turning 30. It's not that I'm upset or sad about it. More like it snuck up on me! But I'm looking forward to my 30s! I think this is going to be a good year for us! I'm turning 30, taking my last class for my accounting certificate, Camille will turn one in July, we'll be taking her to Disneyland for her first time in May, I just had a store in FLorida place a huge wholesale order, and who knows what else? All the usual sadness is still there, I'm still very behind on bills, my family is still hours away, I still can't seem to finish a knitting project. But you know what? The good outshines the bad. I may not see my parents often enough but when I do it's special. Camille is laughing now and it's the most beautiful sound in the world. It just makes you smile and you can't think about anything bad!
Here's some pictures:

My Awesome Family!

 Grandma and Camille!

 First Time sitting in the grocery cart!

 Handy Hank. The most special present ever. This was my Papa's toy when he was a young boy. He's kept it all these years and I remember being little and watching it go. I've always LOVED it. My mom got it for me for my birthday. It still works and everything. Her moves his little gears and it drives. When it bumps into something he backs up and turns. It's amazing. I love it so so much!

 Yum. Fruit.

 Well hello there!

Camille has been sick for a few days so it's been rough. She's ok during the days usually but man in the evenings she'll cry for hours. We took her to the doc because she kept tugging her ear but he said her ears where fine but she had a sore throat. Getting her to go to sleep at night is basically a nightmare. I just feel so bad for her, nothing gets her to stop crying and she's just so tired. The last week or so she's woken up at least 3 times each night once 6 times. I would loooove a good nights sleep.
Funny story: This may be TMI or weird or gross but whatever. Like a week or two ago I was asleep and my mom was visiting, sleeping on the couch. We normally sleep with the door open but for some reason Brendan had closed it. I woke up and saw the door was closed and freaked out thinking I hadn't heard the baby cry. I jumped up and ran into her room. She was asleep. When I came back to bed I realized I had completely soaked my shirt with milk. I guess my sudden "BABY NEEDS ME" panic set off my internal milk making alarms haha Funny how your body works

Anyway, off to make more towels and then get to bed. Looking forward to tomorrow! :-)

Sleep, you elusive butthole

I am tired. Why is it that on days that you get little sleep, the rest of the day goes badly as well? Is it because you're not well equipped to deal with it? Or just the Universe against you?
Camille was sleeping for long stretches very early. She used to go to bed at 8 and sleep until 2ish then wake up around 7. Now she goes to sleep at 8, wakes up at 12:30ish, 3:30ish, 5 sometimes and 7. Sometimes she wants to eat, sometimes she just wakes up. The night before last was one of those nights and then I had a rough day at work. It just all around sucked. Last night was better. But I'm still tired. I've been reading up on baby sleep schedules and such and trying to just soothe her back to sleep instead of feeding her, which worked last night. Sometimes I just put her pacifier back in and all is right with the world. But it doesn't always work.
That's all for now. Just felt the need to complain a bit. I haven't gotten more than 4 hours of sleep at a time in 5 months. And I'm one of those people that sleep 8 every night. whiney whine whine!!